You know you're in Moldova when:
1) You've begun using piles of cow poop, differing in size and gusto, as mile markers on your running trail.
2) There are 8X the number of host animals in your family than host humans.
3) [After being instructed that when in the outhouse and on your period, the only safe place to store a tampon before you need it is in your clevage,] You've never wanted clevage more.
4) The Romanian for: "No, I'm not running after anything, I just enjoy running," is more commonly used than: "I don't speak Russian."
5) In an attempt to take money out of the bank in your village (I knew I was too lucky to have one,) the teller assumes you are trying to buy a cow, and then you learn that you can't actually access money there, you can only buy animals.
6) Mud is the most pressing threat to your security and livelihood.
Furthermore,
7) Your purse is curiously heavy, not because you couldn't decide which book to bring so you brought all four, but because you're now accustomed to carrying around slabs of broken brick, so when you confront a lake of mud, you can throw down the bricks and create a walking path.
8) The directions to your house are as follows: Take the paved road past the three muddiest roads in the village and make a left. You will pass a senile looking cow on your right, and on the left will be three houses, all with smurf-blue gates. Mine is the fourth smurf-blue gate.
9) When someone tells you, in English, to Shut Up!, it's because they want to show off the one English phrase they know, not because they actually want you to shut up, and certainly not because they know what it means.
10) The Romanian phrase for 'Can I take a shower,' [spelled phonetically] is 'Pot se Fahk Douche.' Thus, among RomAnglish speaking Peace Corps volunteers, you're likely to hear--Sure, I'll meet you at the bar, just as soon as I fahk a douche. (We'll never get over that one.)
11) You can now relate with Bill Murray in Lost in Translation for more reasons than a shared desire to grab Scarlett Johanson's ass.
2) There are 8X the number of host animals in your family than host humans.
3) [After being instructed that when in the outhouse and on your period, the only safe place to store a tampon before you need it is in your clevage,] You've never wanted clevage more.
4) The Romanian for: "No, I'm not running after anything, I just enjoy running," is more commonly used than: "I don't speak Russian."
5) In an attempt to take money out of the bank in your village (I knew I was too lucky to have one,) the teller assumes you are trying to buy a cow, and then you learn that you can't actually access money there, you can only buy animals.
6) Mud is the most pressing threat to your security and livelihood.
Furthermore,
7) Your purse is curiously heavy, not because you couldn't decide which book to bring so you brought all four, but because you're now accustomed to carrying around slabs of broken brick, so when you confront a lake of mud, you can throw down the bricks and create a walking path.
8) The directions to your house are as follows: Take the paved road past the three muddiest roads in the village and make a left. You will pass a senile looking cow on your right, and on the left will be three houses, all with smurf-blue gates. Mine is the fourth smurf-blue gate.
9) When someone tells you, in English, to Shut Up!, it's because they want to show off the one English phrase they know, not because they actually want you to shut up, and certainly not because they know what it means.
10) The Romanian phrase for 'Can I take a shower,' [spelled phonetically] is 'Pot se Fahk Douche.' Thus, among RomAnglish speaking Peace Corps volunteers, you're likely to hear--Sure, I'll meet you at the bar, just as soon as I fahk a douche. (We'll never get over that one.)
11) You can now relate with Bill Murray in Lost in Translation for more reasons than a shared desire to grab Scarlett Johanson's ass.
posted by NikkiD | 5:51 AM
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